Murr and I

So cut my wrists and black my eyes

Let's see. Monday was somewhat stressful. Math was math. In spanish, like I siad, we didn't film on Sunday so we had to do it 2nd period, right before it was due. I'd have to say it was about 2 minutes long and we filmed it in about 10 minutes, messing up like 5 times. After all of that it wouldn't play on the TV so he just looked from the camera and said good job. I'm happy he did, but I'm pretty sure he didn't understand anything, saw somethign infront of him, and winged it because that was definitly not a good job lol...But I'm not complaining. The rest of school was okay, I don't really member alot. Tuesday was the same. I just remember english because it pissed me off once again. She assigned another book. She says, "oh good news, I didn't think I'd be able to fit the book in before school was over, but I found a way, and you'll be reading every night. I want you to go through and underline, circle, and highlight these copies until you get your books. When you get your books I want to see them filled with post it notes on every page. I want chapters 1, 2, and 3 done for tomorrow and all questions answered. Some people say Charles Dickens writing is harder to understand than Shakesphere and it's a historical novel. It's a great book." Which obviously means, IT SUCKS. I'm so frustrated. Here I am, trying to bring all my grades up, and there she is, making it even harder. I'm so sick of this. I've lost count of how many books she's made us read. I know it's around the 9th or 10th one. Blahhh. On a good note, my history grade is one point from a B and my science grade is a B+ again. I also fixed my team rec grade when I told him I wasn't skipping his classes, I was on vacation and at competition. So now that should be fine. So now all I need to do is make sure I keep them up and actually study for the finals... Besides school, and the fact that I lost the one of two out of 6 aunts I was close with, thing's have been going well. My mom and I are fighting less, and Doug's being amazing like always. Thing's are starting to be okay again. My dad's leaving for my aunts funural on Thursday. We can't go, which upsets me alot.. On Saturday I have a cheerleading thing I'm helping out with and then I'm leaving until Sunday sometime :) Today was okay. Except, as you all probably know by now, english. I can honestly say I hate her. Anyways. Linds has been driving me home everyday and that's where I just came from. We had an early release and now I'm going to pass out for a while.

Damn baby all I need is a little bitttCollapse )








Comments would make me very happy right now :)






I love youuu
  • Current Music
    ohio is for lovers
Murr and I

I never want to be anything, except everything to you

I don't really remember anything that happened on Thursday except that I stayed after school with Coggin to take a test that I got back the next day and got a D. I know I suck. On Friday I don't remember anything except that I had allllot of tests and I had to preform my Shakesphere thing. I was so nervous that I was shaking. I did okay though. I'm just glad everything's over. I have alot to say about Mrs.Bordue but I'm not going to say anything except that she sucks and I hate her. Irina and Lindey and I were supposed to stay after school Friday to film our spanish movie but we didn't have the camera so we planned to do it today. I got my progress report. I have 2 C's. One is 2 point's away from a B which I can bring up. The other is in US history. I'm trying to bring it up but it's so hard when you have a teacher that doesn't teach right. I don't know these next 27 days left of school I'm gonna have to work my ass off. Whatevvv. On Saturday I woke up and showered and got ready then went to Doug's house. We went to the store and got some stuff and got iceys that turned my mouth blue for like 8 hours. We went back to his house for a while and watched some movies and then later went to his grandmas. We helped set up some stuff outside for her and then watched TV there for a little. We got home and watched more movies upstairs and then after everything we ordered pizza and waited downstairs. We went back upstairs and I started not to feel well and he held me and I fell asleep in his arms. He rubbed my head and gave me little kisses and covered me up :) He's amazing. Around 11:00 my dad picked me up and I got home at 12:00. I went to sleep and then woke up trying to figure out what time we were filming for spanish today. I finally get a hold of Irina and by the time we got a hold of Lindsey it was too late because Irina had to leave. Gahh so tomorrow we're going it 2nd period HOPEFULLY. And it's due 3rd period. Isn't that awesome. If it doesn't work I'm gonna effing cry. ....Wow. My mom just came in crying. She told me my aunts dying. She won't make it through the day. Omg.






Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Til the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby baby we belong together
...I love you soo much..







*Edit*
She's gone.

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there


RIP Aunt Suzanne:'(
  • Current Music
    the used
Murr and I

Booo, you whore.

HersheyCollapse ) was amazing. I went to school on Friday for first period, then waited for Jessie to come pick me up. She wasn't there and I started to call my mom because I didn't want to be late but then she came in the office. Her brother had her keys all the way in Concord adn she had to wait for him before she got me. She got me then we got my stuff and went to the airport. We were the last people to board and left like 5 minutes after we sat down lol. I didn't like the flight over. We flew into Phili and got stuck in traffic. By the time we got to the hotel it was pretty late. Kaylee and I drove to our hotel once her mom picked us up and we went to eat dinner at this place right next to it. On Saturday we went to watch the youth team preform and they did well. After we went to the chocolate factory place and I got some presents for people. Then we went to the Hershey garden or something like that to kill time. We got to the hotel and I was ready to do my make up when I realized I had no brushes... Kaylee had to call her mom and we got some. Competition was okay. We didn't do as well as we wanted to, but it's the last competition, and next year is going to be amazing. That night Kurtz came home with us. The next day we went to Hershey park which was amazing. I went on allll the rollercostars :D Even the one that goes 0 to 72 mph in 2 seconds. It was a very very fun day. The next day I got brought back to the other hotel and left with Shannon who was following Delanna and who was followed by Kristina to the airport. Delanna didn't ask for directions so we ended up driving to NJ and had to turn around and had a high speed chase to the airport, which by the wya we still couldn't find. We were going 95 in like a 50 mph high way. We almost died about 5 times. We got to the air port at 1:00 and our plane leaves at 1:05. So we missed it. They wouldn't hold a flight for 5 more mintues for over 14 minutes. Cool. We decided to mak eth ebest of it though. They had face paiting and we all got it done and then we started to stunt for everyone. Time went pretty fast and on the way home I was watching thirteen with Ames and Missie but the flight was so fast I didn't get anything from it. I got home blah blah. We ate dinner as a family and my dad told me that my aunt has less than two weeks to live. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her. I started crying and I still want to even now. It's kind of like it's not real. It's not fair. To top it off I'm really not sure if I have anyone who honestly cares anymore. It feels recently that I lost something. That I must have done something wrong for how I'm being treated. I really don't understand it. But I guess that's why I've been crying myself to sleep everynight. School's stressful. But I'm trying to manage. I have a few more things to make up. Hopefulyl after Friday it'll all be over. This weekend I'm seeing Doug. Atleast that's good. This is long. Sorry.


Comment////////
  • Current Music
    boy meets world
Murr and I

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me

My flight on Tuesday was okay. It was night so I saw all the lights and it was pretty. Scary at first though cause over the clouds I could see the thunder storm. Literally. There was flashes of lightning that lit up areas of the clouds. It was amazing. We got into Connecticut around 12:00 and slept in a hotel. We left at 6:00 in the morning and I got home around 9:45. I changed adn went into school. I did part one and two of my english testing in one day lol. Needless to say I got alot of work in my other classes as well. The ones I got to go to atleast. Today when I got into math I almost shot myself. I missed like 2 or 3 lessons and I have no idea what so ever what's going on...But I need to do the work anyways so it's hard. I have so much to do in all my classes.Collapse ) All by Tuesday. Ehh. I got home and started on that. I got some done. I went to practice and realized I got completely taken out of my one of my stunts because I wasn't there. I understand why, it just frustrates me that I didn't even want to miss them. Practice went well. I came home and showered and now I'm packing for tomorrow. I'm going into first period (math) tomorrow a little early to try to be taught something and staying for that one class then leaving. Jessies picking me up and then I'm getting my stuff at my house and going to the air port. Our flight leaves at 10:40. We'll be in Hershey around 12:00ish. We compete Saturday and then I'm sure Kaylee and I are going to Hershey park on Sunday. My flight home is on Monday around 1 something. Expect alot of pictures when I get home.

Wish me luck!!!!
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I love you so much <333
  • Current Music
    the used * blue and yellow
Murr and I

i try not to think about the pain i feel inside

So it's been like 10 days since I've updated. Saturday the flight was okay. It was rainy in Connecticut, and sunny when I got into Florida so I was happy. I'm not really sure what we did each day... So I'll just say the stuff I remember. I went to Malibu. It's a place kinda like funspot but bigger and tons better. I went to the beach. I went to my old neighborhood. Saw my old school, my old house, my old babysitter. Went to alot of places I used to go when I lived there. Called my old best friend. Went shopping 3 times and spent over $300.00. Got pictures done for my grandmas birthday. Went to Red Lobster with my family for her birthday. Found out my aunt is not getting better from her cancer like my grandma thinks, but that she's only going to get worse until it ends. My grandma finds out when we leave. And I can't say anything. It's horrible. We had a cook out here and alot of people were supposed to come but not many did. I went to the beach again and got alot more color than the frist time. I saw my moms best friend and her children that I love. I went to this bead place and made a very pretty bracelet and got a martini glass necklace. Got water poured on my head while I was sleeping by Chuck. Got him back by pouring a whole glass of water down his shirt. I rode on a tractor. Then drove it. Lol. Took alot of pictures that I'll post when I get home. And alot more that I don't rememebr right now. I leave for home tomorrow. At 6. I get into connecticut around 12 in the morning. I guess now I'm staying in a hotel. Then we're leaving at 5 in the morning on Wednesday and I'm still goign to school by 3rd period because I will shoot myself if I miss anymore. Good news though, my gay spanish thing is not due until a week later than it was planned. yayy. I'm still trying to memorize my english stuff. In all this time, I've probably memorize 5 lines out of 30. hah. I spent so long reading all the entries I missed. With that being said, Mari, I know you didn't want this. So all I'm going to say is everything happens for a reason. And you're amazing. I think that's enough for now. I'm tired.

Comment if you love meeeee






i love you so much
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
Murr and I

(no subject)

I try not to think
About the pain that I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
  • Current Mood
    sad sad
Murr and I

Th.e. .w.o.r.s.t. .i.s.... .o.v.er.,. .y.o.u. ....ca.n. .ha.v.e. .t.h.e. .b.e.s.t. o.f.. ..me..

More ranting. Don't like it, don't read. I hate my english teacher so much. It's not bad enough that we have to do that stupid 30 line of old engligh memorized and preformed in front of the class, for no reason and will benefit us in no way what so ever in the future, but she made it worse. I was all set in my group adn she coems over and says since I'm going to be gone that I have to work alone. Okay I can understand that. I told her I get nervous by myself sometimes and she said well if you pick a conversation a friend can go up with you adn read the other part from the book while you say the memorized part. I say okay and look for a 30 line conversation. I finallyyyy find out towards the end and I ask her to write it down so no one will take it. She tells me no and that I have to fill out a form. I do it as fast as I can and bring it up and she says "you were a few seconds too late, that other group got that one." Lindsey was like but that's the only one she has to do. She goes "I said whoever brings it up first gets it." Lindsey says but she had it before then and she goes "BUT SHE DIDNT BRING IT UP BEFORE THEN. Wow. What a bitch. Yeah I understand, I guess, but come on. Lame. So now my vacation consists of memorizing a 1 1/2 page speech by Leonato, BY MYSELF, and memorizing lines for my spanish movie I have to film right when I come back. I'm missing a day of sophomore testing. A quiz in spanish. Filming after school for spanish on Wednesday. ONE practice Thursday before competition. Missing school AGAIN Friday and Monday for competition. Please shoot me. kthx.

New hair :xCollapse )



Oh, and I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow until May 3rd. Brb.






commenttttttttt





Love you so much baby miss you
  • Current Mood
    excited excited
Murr and I

(no subject)

I don't really remember what's been going on the past few days except a few things. On Tuesday I didn't have any practice because of tryouts, and I have no doubt that school was horrible like usual. I lost my english book somehow and now I have to pay for it. She gave me an extra one to use until we're completely done. Which reminds me, I was so excited that we finished the book and only had one more Act test to finish. Then she hands out a paper saying we need to get into groups and each person needs to memorize 30 lines of old english Shakespeare and perform it for the class. Stupid whore. I have no idea how I'm going to pull that off. Also in spanish we had to go into groups, make a movie, assign parts, write lines, translate them into spanish, and now we have to videotape them after we memorize them. Seriously do the teachers want me to shoot myself? Cause I can arrange that. Schools been pretty stressful. Actually that's an understatement. A kinda big one. I failed my first science quiz of the year. And horribly. It brought my grade down to a c- when I had a b+. I can still bring it up, but it pisses me off when your teacher tells you that your brain isn't working at all. Isn't that like against the laws of teachers or something? :p This week has been pretty tough at different times. I'm kinda surprised I handled it all. I'm getting to the point that I don't feel anything. If your numb you can't hurt right.. On Wednesday I went to tryouts which were a joke for me because I knew everything we were going over. Last night we had practice and I'm nervous for Hershey now. We lost 3 important people adn we have to switch things around alot. I just hope we do well. I have the last tryouts tonight and I have to finish packing and cleaning tons. I went shopping for a little yesterday because I had alot of time. I was supposed to get my pallet expander thing but I have to get spacers AGAIN after vacation which hurts alot. Err. After this is our comp in Hershey and I'm missing 3 days. Ehh. After Hershey it's over until June. It's weird to have no cheerleading. Anyways I'm gonna be late to school. I hope it flies by..

Comment tons please.
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    sleepy sleepy